Between My Finger and Thumb… (Harper Lee Emulation)

Stage 1: Between my finger and my thumb lie the fingers of my parents guiding me into this world.

 Stage 2: Between my finger and my thumb lies a pencil, learning how to get my thoughts into words.

 Stage 3: Between my finger and my thumb lies a hand, the same hand that had guided me into this world and given me a chance to live.

The same hand but,

this time cold.

 Stage 4: Between my finger and my thumb lie the hands of my mother as a gesture of support.

The same hands that carried me through this world and taught me how to survive in such a society.

The same hands that are now wrinkled in complexion and weak in strength as not much flows through the antique veins any longer.

 Stage 5: Between my finger and my thumb lies the pencil, but this time nervously.

Nervously because this time I authorize the statement of assisted suicide for my mother who has lost all sense of memory and doesn’t deserve to deal with such pain.

The same mother who repeatedly called my name without hesitation to call me to the dinner table.

But this time hesitates in even remembering me.

 Stage 6: Between my finger and my thumb lies a hand as a gesture of hope.

But this time, it is the hand of my soul mate, comforting me as I explain my life story.

 Stage 7: Between my finger and my thumb lies the hand of my soul mate.

This time walking me to the stage of a new beginning.

Walking me to our wedding stage.

Stage 8: Between my finger and my thumb lies the hand of our creation as I guide her into this world.

Stage 9: Between my finger and my thumb lies the hand of my daughter as I teach her how to get her thoughts into words.

Stage 10: Between my finger and my thumb lie the hands of my soul mate and daughter as I lay there in the hospital bed.

Stage 11: Between my finger and my thumb lie the many cords and pipes trying to pump life into me once again.

Stage 12: Between my finger and my thumb lie the hands of my family as I slowly decide to fade away.

Stage 13: Between my finger and thumb lie the hands of my very own parents as I have now… joined them.

—–     This poetical piece was inspired by a writing seminar exploring the works of Seamus Heaney. Specifically by the piece called ”Digging.” In all my intention for this poem was to represent the cycle of life in my eyes. The first time reading this is simply for pleasure in getting to the end, however when reading twice you begin to see the connections I have made between the different things that happen in life and how it all composes into one cycle. However despite all of that, life is a cycle that goes on forever and no matter what we encounter we simply have to move on and remember that we will leave this world at one point to, so why not look at the bright side of going to the same place as your loved ones. Just as in this piece I end with:

“Between my finger and my thumb lie the hands of my very own parents as I have now joined them.”

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/124341639684077966/
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/124341639684077966/

Just a Little Longer… (Short Story)

Day 1:

“Where am I?” I scream, realizing that no one would provide me an answer because I am alone.

The room was blinding white, newly painted and appeared newly furnished. The room was simple in complexion yet I had this odd feeling that it would become something complex and intricate just as the thoughts in my mind currently are. In a swift motion my hand touches the walls to feel for hollowness, but instead I am exposed to the engravings of heart scannings. From the top its states birth, then followed by endless lines I get to the end where all the curved lines become one. They form a straight line with “Death 2015” stated at the end.

I think to myself, “What year am I in,” and my mind aches as I begin to think.

I start to question myself:

“What is my name?”

“Who am I?”

“How old am I?”

“And why am I wearing a sky blue dress with red stains?”

“Why?”

I Stop. I stop because none of these questions have answers at the moment. Even my very own name, it seems nonexistent. I stand there in pain, in agony of not knowing what has happened to me. I look to the wall behind me and see words; I blink to check if I am hallucinating. I blink many times and realize that it is real. I see words. I run. I run as if I am an angel in heaven, swift as a feather. I am overwhelmed with the amount of words but find a connection with all of them. I recognize these people, the people I know, or at least the people I once knew. I continue reading and try to forget about the pain constantly knocking in my head.
“Elizabeth, Elizabeth, Elizabeth.”

I am repeatedly hit by this name, it appears in every sentence and these words I am reading seem so sad, they speak as if they are being said to a corpse. They speak as if they are towards me. I think harder, realizing that my head is pounding more than ever. My head aches as I try to comprehend a basic understanding of this. With a surge of a sharp pain I think one last time before I let out a scream and realize that Elizabeth is me.
“ I am Elizabeth Kerrey Maree!”

 

Day 2:

I wake up from what seemed like an eternity but was just a day. I look around not knowing where I am. I look around me and observe this blinding white room, which seems newly furnished. I get myself up in pain as my head throbs with the immense sensation of an infuriating ringing tone that hits directly upon my eardrums.

“Make it stop!” I scream holding my wrinkled hands over my screaming ears.

I push back the pain and look around to see if I can figure out this mess I have put myself in, just as I do any other day. You see my life is a mess. I am constantly losing my memory and somehow still expected to live a normal life.

Besides that, I observe the room around me and notice a table. This table does not seem like any other table, in fact it seems like it has been formulated from fractured metal of a car that had just been in a car accident. The metal so deformed, must have been a strong one. I begin to walk closer, and as I come to see that there are objects on the table I speed up in hopes of getting closer faster, but that is only a thought. Finally after reaching my destination after what seems like a few hours I stare at the objects. I wonder if I am allowed to touch them but that thought has been broken, as I have grasped this object in to my hand. It is a globe, not of the world but just of color and words. It is divided in half by the distinct differences in color, as one side is colorful and so uplifting it feels so smooth and compelling, and is wanted my many. Then I come around to feeling the other side with the palm of my hand and notice the change in color, as it is now black. It seems as if life has given up on beauty, it comes to all but is not wanted by all. My hands feel the rough texture and soon enough my hand comes into contact with a sharp object which causes a rush of bright red blood to come rushing out of my wrinkled finger. My brain aches as I grab a hold of it just in time. I close my eyes and dream. I dream of wanting to spend all the time I ever could with this someone, who I can’t seem to get a clear image of just yet. I remember turning into memory lane as this red, bold vehicle comes rushing in-between us, separating us. I am long lost in my thoughts trying to formulate this occurrence.

Day 3:
I rise and shine to the warmth of the sun peering through the white window that seems blinding white and newly furnished. I peek my eyes open as the sun stains my eyes in pain. I turn over in hopes of eliminating the bright light but it does not go away. In fact I notice this tunnel that seems to lure me in.

My head aches and just as I grab a hold of my head a series of events flash in my mind only allowing me to catch the slightest glimpse of what is happening. I close my eyes to make it all stop. It all stops, as all I can see now is blackness. All I can see is nothing but darkness.

To this day I still beat myself for closing my eyes and not being able to bear the pain because here I lay in my deathbed today.

http://www.livescience.com/16019-death-experiences-explained.html
http://www.livescience.com/16019-death-experiences-explained.html

 

Quote Refection — The Book Thief

—-  Technique: I have used the idea of formulating a poem about this topic at first and then changing the words into narration form, rather than poetical to meet the standards for a personal response format.

Humanity is the way that humans act, simple right? But when it comes to observing individuals and experiencing the effect of their actions and words on others. This is when death tends to get confused as shown through the novel of “The Book Thief.” I have decided to formulate a personal response based upon deaths perception on humans during World War II.

In today’s world many of us are influenced by words, in fact during World War II, Adolf Hitler was the most influential Nazi leader and used only words to create propaganda. At first Hitler had great intentions when he had initially gotten involved in the government which included things like uprising Germany’s economy and flourishing as a country. Unfortunately the power had really gotten to Hitler, which caused him to take part in atrocious things such as using his own charisma and natural leadership skills to kill the Jews.

This is a great example to illustrate deaths perception on humans, and how we can be admirable and atrocious at the same time. Death is utterly confused about humans, and how they behave since all of us do have two sides, which are either damning or brilliant. Despite us having two sides it doesn’t quite make sense to Death because he feels that humans in particular are confusing to understand, the main factor being involved to this thoughts is the concept of words. Words can cause a dramatic change in ones life, it doesn’t depend on what is being said but more so how the individual interprets it, whether it affects them internally or externally.

From a personal standpoint I do agree with Death and in fact think that it is quite ironic that we humans are all the same in some ways and make the same mistakes in one way or another yet we act differently, we behave differently, and we respond differently from each other. We humans are to caught up in the idealistic world of impressing some while devaluing others and we simply don’t take a moment to look around us and see what we have and how much better it is then some people have to deal with in other parts of the world, because if we did then we wouldn’t be taking each other for granted but instead we would be helping each other and trying our best to not bring out the horrific thoughts from our mind.

Some of us humans hurt others, some turn our backs, some just pretend to care, and some try and then just give up, so we are monsters on our own. But lets not forget the few of us that work at things and attempt to make a difference. We can help change that performing little things our self, by lending a helping hand, and changing the wrong to right. Just the little things can make a huge difference; the little things could make a big impact on life and potentially hide our imperfections and bring out our perfections.

 

https://www.pinterest.com/jamiesuid/bookish-the-book-thief/
https://www.pinterest.com/jamiesuid/bookish-the-book-thief/

 

No Goodbye

We always knew he was going to leave someday, but much farther down the road of 2-3 years.

We never thought it would be the next day.

He was feeling quite ill on July 26, and was brought to the emergency in close to critical condition.

He could barely breathe, as most of his oxygen was being supplied to him by the tank attached to the bed side.

He barely spoke at the time.

To his son, who had brought him, he says, “I’m cold,” and that was it.

That was the last of his voice.

His wrinkled complexion lay on the wrinkled sheets as his soul wasted away.

We all have delightful souls we use to encompass our physical appearances, but what truly matters is the soul.

After all it was distinct that this body was no longer him.

“For death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.”

Immediate family was called down the next day to visit him one last time, more so to see him lay there, speechless.

It was profound that his soul was no longer present; it was profound that his last breaths were taken with his family by his side.

It was all he ever wanted.

He was my grandpa.

This was the first funeral I had ever attended.

This was a life lesson put into perspective.

This exemplifies the act of sharing your thoughts with others as it is often unknown to when they will leave.

Whether they have made their final goodbye or not.

As many words may be left unsaid.

Just as they were.

“A thousand times we die in one life. We crumble break and tear apart until the layers of illusion are burned away and all that is left, is the truth of who and what we really are.”

Everyone was draped by a layer of white in reverence to the lifeless soul.

As we enter the comfortless funeral home and crematorium, it became distinctly impossible to hold back the tears.

It was almost as if a storm had been birthed.

The sky enveloped with gloomy bunches of condensation.

The atmosphere, silent and disheartening as we all offer our final eulogies.

Of one remarkable soul.

D Quote

death

Credits:

  • “Quotes” 1 and 2  – http://www.quotesgram.tk/death-quotes-3/
  • Image 1 – http://www.quotesgram.tk/death-quotes-3/
  • Image 2 – http://personalexcellence.co/quotes/822

Welcome to the World of a Bains

           

Skating Reflection
Simply the expression of art.
pink skates
“Girls Skate”

           Welcome to your fun filled journey in the world of a Bains. Comments of improvement or appreciation are gladly accepted. You have entered the world of endless possibilities and can begin your remarkable journey by reading my About Me page. I am uniquely a 2000 millennium child. My mission for the next few years is to build a foundation for myself in academics so by the time I get to post secondary I will be ready to dive in to a whole other world of top level knowledge which will lead me to my career of becoming a nutritionist, which is an individual that is specifically trained in fitness, health and nutrition. Although a classroom is not the best place to be, the positive side of this is that I only have to continue to be present for the next five years.
I am a competitive skater and enjoy spending my time on the ice, as it is simply an art of expression and yet another way to escape from the real world. It is amazing how much of an impact competitive skating has on me as it goes down to the millisecond. It makes me realize the importance of life and how we should all enjoy every second of it because it is only a one-time chance.
As we all are going to leave this world in one way, shape or form, so there is no point in being superior to someone as in the end we are all going to the same place. A quote of reference, “Life asked death, why do people love me, but hate you? Death responded because you are a beautiful lie and I’m a painful truth.” Unknown. Last but not least, music to me resembles a bird, the freedom of escaping the world for some time. In all I am a weird yet unique person so stay tuned for more posts and most importantly have fun trying to leave this irresistibly awesome world of a Bains.

studying
Striving for academic excellence.

 

music bird
Music is world of freedom.

 

 

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